They Versus I

They  say (those mysterious ones who always have something to say) that  we should write a page or two a day to keep the fingers nimble and the mind open.

 I say sex works just as well.

 They say ( busy little beavers eh) that we should mindlessly scribble, or artfully present our thoughts onto paper so so we can see them in the light of day.

I say that once it’s out of my brain, I ain’t wishing to look at it again.  It’s a little like ripping off a Band-Aid to see the ooze. Un Uh, not this chickie, thanks.

They say (makes you wonder—don’t they ever get tired?) that we should put 10% of our income into savings, so by the time we retire we’re sitting pretty.

I say what if you find this out too late? What if you aren’t pretty even standing? Are we screwed, tattooed and blued? Well, maybe I am, or have been the first two, but I’m not sure what the ‘blued’ part means. So, I might be…

They say we should wake up and think of 10 things to be grateful for.

I say that’s a lot on a barely breathing brain. Besides, who wants to lay there, trying to think nice, in a bedroom  full of leftover night smells like gas leaks, snore-breaths and sex-scentual reminders (I just made that last one up trying to give that peculiar smell a nice name)

They say we should work hard, be honest and kind.

 I say, if I’m being honest, I’m not crazy about working hard, and sometimes I find it hard work to be kind.

 I say they say  WAY  TOO MUCH  for my piece of mind and my peace of mind.

And, from now on, when someone starts with they say, I’m gonna’ stick my fingers in my ears and hum my private mantra until they’re done.

That’s what I say…

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