Sometimes it takes a second read to catch the aha moment…

This past winter I’ve not only taken numerous hilarious ride-alongs with a former ho and a fairly ineffective bounty hunter, I’ve stuck it to killers with some fine needle-stitching individuals. I’ve also solved some nefarious crimes alongside a former-cop-now-pet-sitter and have I ever learned some excellent yoga moves (which I need to put  into actual motion—or would that be non-motion?). But right now I want to yak about another AHA moment that slapped into me part way through a second read of  A Loving Approach To Dementia Care by Laura Wayman.( A wonderfully informative book for, and about, caregivers.)

Before I get to the AHA moment I want to point out that Laura is adamant about caregivers learning to practice loving kindness to themselves before they can hope to offer it to others.   I got that part but I admit I’m still trying to figure out if jubjubes and chocolate fall under ‘loving kindness’ to oneself…

The zip-between-heart-and-brain moment came while reading about the importance of becoming an honest listener. Not the kind of listener who jumps in with solutions to every problem, but a listener willing to just listen; one who offers an open heart and closed lips.

That’s when I realized I’ve always been an over-active listener. You know the kind – the one who jumps in with solutions galore; the one who offers to help carry the baggage but ends up packing the whole load. And then, when the dust clears, is stuck wearing a label that screams ‘meddlesome bossy broad with control issues’.

But now I get that by being opening the ears, offering a shoulder and closing the mouth not only will my face stay clean but my action (non-action again?) shows them I believe in them. It shows I think they are capable of handling their own lives.

And all that was gleamed from a book on being a healthier caregiver. Huh – who’d a seen that one coming…

Excuse me now but I got a husband I gotta’ give some silent treatment space too…:)

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