Homemade something or other

Ever made lotion? I mean something you could actually, safely put on anything other than feet?

My first DIY lotion ended up like a wobbly petroleum jelly. It melted on contact and felt a bit like a coating of motor oil. Definitely not a face lotion! But it worked wonders on my alligator-skin feet. At least at night. With thick wool socks on.

Too bad it turned the socks a vomit-yellow.

The second recipe was going well, until I added my very own ‘yep-I-created-it-all-by-myself’ scent! Seriously, by itself the scent wasn’t half bad,  but man oh man — mixed into the lotion blend it turned —pee-ew-t-full!  I couldn’t even convince dear Man-Wonder to give it a try. . .and his sniffer isn’t that good. In the end, it went into the outside garbage can and I can’t say it improved the can aroma either.

Anyway, time passed and, as the scent of failure faded, I decided to try again. Sometimes I wonder though — am I on the dense side genetically, or do I just have an undying blind faith in things working out?

Because, I decided, since I wasn’t having any luck with something as simple as a ‘lotion’ recipe, maybe I needed to complicate it up by attempting a ‘cream’ recipe. And didn’t I always want a beautiful rose-scented cream? (Have I mentioned how expensive Rose EO is?) Well, you know that old quote about babies and idiots?

The cream recipe came out on the thin side making it the most luxurious, rich, divine-smelling lotion ever!

Now here’s where it gets a bit daft. (dafter?)

I have a working (sort of) lotion recipe and I love, love, love the smell and feel of it so why not just go with it for the next batch. But no. I have to tweak. Something less expensive scent-wise? Maybe another DIY scent?

The monkey never learns does it?

But I truly wanted to have a scented lotion Man-Wonder would be willing to use. He’s not fond of smelling like a rose garden but he does like the great outdoors and since I’m a fan of trees—why not woodsy?

Only I got carried away and my ‘Woodsy’ blend had a slight scent closer to a creature of the forest. But since there was a birch-cedar edge to it I used it.(Lesson #1,382,504  — know which EOs, or combos, will react with your oil/water mixture. You don’t want it thickening to fast.

And, man-oh-man, did it thicken too fast! We are talking instant seizure. I suddenly had a bowl full of white lumps and no matter how long I blended it wouldn’t thin out.

So what did I put my ‘Woodsy’ label on? A jar of white jelly beanish stuff smelling weirdly bushy-ish. And it truly is a manly lotion. . . since it needs some serious muscle  to rub in!

But, in spite of Man-Wonder claiming,”It’s like going to bed with a lumber-jack whose feet are covered in zinc lotion” my feet are feeling bum-soft now. And, another wee bonus is my woolies are losing their vomit-yellow glow.

Now . . .if I could just make something I’m not afraid to put on my face. . .


  1. writeknit Said:

    Pinterest has lots of recipes for potions and lotions – I dunno about trying them on your face tho….But I can always count on you for a chuckle, chortle or full out guffaw!!


  2. They have whole magazines filled with wonderous recipes for all sorts of things like that. Lotions, soaps, bath balms. I give those magazines to others because I’m not about to try my hand at them. I go to farmers market and try what they have but I will NEVER, EVER try my hand at that. I can see the headlines already. She slid out the door and landed on her head, causing permanent brain damage. I’m just not built right for that kind of experimentation and it sounds like you would do better with another hobby too. :)) Fun post though. :0


    • Love your description of what could happen. Thanks for the laugh! But I refuse to give up. Somewhere there is a lotion with my name on it. Besides, making lotions sounds and feels a bit like making potions. All I need is that big black pot and I’m . . . oh, wait I already have one. . . Hmmm!

      Liked by 1 person

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