Love thy neighbour (and her bird) to pieces

turkey twos

I have the most wonderful, inventive neighbour ever. She is the busiest human I’ve ever met. Her mind is locked in fast forward while mine stalls regularly. She is like the energizer bunny in human form so let’s call her EB here.

The thing about EB, is when she comes up with an idea – BOOM – it is in motion.Show her a problem and more likely than not she’ll come up with a solution. Sometimes, even though they work out, her solutions have a few strange twists to them. And sometimes she is prone to overthinking solutions and coming up with new ones.

This year is a prime example of out-of-the-box thinking (and re-thinking) on her part. She was faced with an overcrowded freezer thanks to a Christmas turkey bought in July, an excellent year for blackberries, and suddenly an over-productive veggie garden. To make room in her freezer she decided the bird had to be eaten now which meant thawing for days in the fridge. Which also meant time for her to decide the bird was too big for just the two of them. . . so then she needed to come up with a solution to that problem.

“I’m going to cut it in half.” she tells me. ” I’ll do it before . . . (Mr.EB) comes back from golfing.”

“You need my help?” I asked, picturing her hovering over the frozen bird, butcher knife in hand, hacking, hacking, hacking. I was also thinking it was a good thing the bird was already dead.

“No. No. I have an idea. I’ll yell if I run into trouble” So, being a good neighbour, I plunk myself at my desk by our bedroom window, just in case. Fantastic decision because it gave me a hidden front row seat to her ‘solution.’

I’m barely in my chair before dear EB has a white tarp spread in the narrow space between the back of her mobile and her garden ( also directly in line with my window) where she proceeds to scrub the hell out of her small electric hedge trimmer. Once it is  clean enough she disappears from sight for a moment then returns with her big frozen bird. Whipping on a pair of goggles and an apron she cuts into that turkey with her trimmer, sending bits of turkey matter flying in every direction. Suddenly the back wall of her mobile looks like a rock climbing wall for fairies while the first three rows of her garden took direct hits of turkey tidbits. We won’t even mention the state of her goggles by the time she finished!  EB spent six times as long cleaning up as she did carving.

We haven’t had a chance to chat since her turkey trimming. and there is one thing I am dying to know . . . did her husband notice that half the bird was missing. . . ?




1 Comment »

  1. writeknit Said:

    LOL I totally see a story in that story!


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